Jananam – The Journey To Birth
Taking birth is the most treasured thing in this world. That’s why suicides are considered to be one of the most terrible sins of life. Every birth has some uniqueness. Before I was born, about one year ago; my mother had her first pregnancy. The doctor told them that she is going to have twins and everything was alright. There were sounds of happiness all over our family. My aunt too confirmed that she was going to have twins. Again after many years, our family flourished with happiness.
It was January 1st, 2007. My mother, father, and grandparents went to the temple nearby, and suddenly my mom had pain and was taken to the hospital. Tears were rolling over my mom’s eyes. Everybody panicked and the doctor finally came. My family was crying inconsolably. “What happened ma’am? How’s my wife?”, asked my anxious dad. The doctor in a stammering voice said, “Sorry sir due to medical issues the baaaabyyy gott ab… aborted”. My father was shell-shocked. Even though he was worried about the baby, he was more worried about his wife. He asked again “what about my wife ma’am?”. Oh, she is alright, nothing to worry about. A little pain was taken away from his heart. The doctor went inside and the door was shut. After a few minutes there came a painful growl. It was my mom, she couldn’t bear the loss. She didn’t speak with anyone for many days and sat still in her room. There were sympathy calls from our relatives, but nothing made my mom smile. Then one day, a call came from one of our relatives. My dad’s cousin’s brother called and said a different thing. He said, “my dear I know about your loss, but how many days will you be like this. I will tell you a small fact: there was a saying in the olden days that the saints did not attain their moksha directly. They have to be in someone’s womb for a few days and only then do they attain their moksha. The person in whom they stayed will surely be blessed. His kind words over the phone helped my mother feel better and she slowly tried and came back to normalcy. Days passed and became months. She got busy again with her job. On a cloudy day, there was good news again. Yes, she was pregnant again! The irony was, this time she wasn’t happy, instead, she was apprehensive about my birth. When a baby is formed the mothers are excited, but my mom was the exact contrary. Without informing anybody she went to the hospital. She told the doctor about her past and her sudden abortion. The doctor scanned her body and told her that although things look normal now, considering her medical history the baby’s birth will have complications in it. My mother was not astounded, as she mulled over what she heard. There was a deep silence in the room. “Thanks, ma’am, I will consult with my family and tell you”, she said and left the room. Her mind was racing and she had no words to speak. As she headed home, she called the landline from a payphone and told the news. I suppose she was still doubtful that I would be born. Hearing this everybody was on their toes at home. They didn’t know what to do, they were happy and excited. Look what happens in our life. It changes so suddenly like a flash of light. Instead of rejoicing, here’s my mother, in dilemma, confused, and in pain as the past swarmed her brain. Before she reached home, the news had spread in the family. She was welcomed warmly by the elders and my dad was jubilant. With a slight smile on her face, she went about her work as usual. Aah!! look at the plight of my poor mother.
She went regularly for checkups. On her 5th checkup, there was a heartbreaking thing waiting for her. As usual, she dressed and headed to the hospital with my grandmom. The doctor took the scan and at first, told me everything was fine. But when my mother was about to leave, she heard the doctor call her again. “Excuse me, there is an important thing to discuss with you”, she said. My mother was bewildered. “Tell me doctor”, she said. The doctor haltingly continued, “Dear, see, as I said earlier, your pregnancy will have complications. It might not be a normal delivery and it might not even be a normal baby”. “Ma’am, what are you saying”, asked my sobbing mom. “Yes, this baby might have some disability. Nothing concretely can be said now. We will have to run more tests. But I must keep you informed”, said the doctor. “Ma’am, I have had more. As long as the baby is born, however, it is that’s fine. I will take care of the baby” saying this she came out of the room. Even though she didn’t show anything, her fears, or her sorrow, she started praying a lot for her child from that day on more vigorously.
She was so much in a mood swing and fear, I think, that she went to a psychiatrist. “Hello ma’am, Dr. Roopika sent me here”. “Yes, what’s the problem? How may I help you?” enquired the psychiatrist. She told her the whole tale. The doctor gave her a lot of tips to handle her fear. One idea that my mom diligently followed was to write a diary. She poured her doubts and pain into the diary, but as suggested she also wrote about her happy moments and good things in her day to life.
Hey readers, now you know how I got the seed to my story na!! 🙂 Let this be our secret now, Ok!
After 2 months…
On an auspicious day, my mom had her baby shower ceremony. It was done in our native house. All our relatives were invited. My mom was so happy. The first thought which came into her mind was, hey Sairam, you have at last shown mercy to me. I want this child to become a successful person. I don’t have the strength to lose this baby also. Whatever be it, I shall take care of the baby with Your grace. Thank you in advance. Then the rituals started. There were many wishes. The day came to a positive end.
On 4th June 2008
My mom and dad were sleeping, and it was 11.00 clock in the night. Suddenly my mom had pain and was rushed to the hospital. My mom roared in pain. She twisted and turned and cried in agony. She had no sense of where she was, it was like she was going to have her last minutes. At that point also, she prayed for her child. I would give hats off to all our mothers, they are such wonderful human beings. That’s why we say that women are greater than men. How much they endure during childbirth. The silence was so much felt in the hospital room that you could hear the needle fall. Hours passed and she writhed in pain. Around 6:00 in the morning, she was moved to the operation theater. The family waited out tense. My father like the typical father was pacing outside the theater, holding his breath and praying. At about 7.53 am there came a cry. The pale faces saw a flash of pink. They willingly waited for the doctor to come. Minutes changed into hours, still no sound nor a message. There my partially unconscious mother was also not informed. She was neither able to cry nor ask. She desperately needed to know about the birth. She couldn’t utter a single word or could she get up. Her heart pounded rapidly, her head was super dizzy. It was like someone was playing drums inside her head. She was plagued. With a sudden flash of light, she opened her eyes. Tearful eyes looked around here and there for her child. Out of the blue, there came the doctor with a lovely doll. Mrs. Geeta, congratulations, you are blessed with a baby girl. My mom was delighted, ecstatic, and needless to say on cloud nine. As she took the baby in her hands, she suddenly fainted. The doctor gave the baby to the nurse, studied my mom, and found that she was running out of blood. She hurriedly ran out of the room and told my father to get blood from the blood bank. My family on the other side was so anxious to know about the baby and my mother. My father ran fast and asked in the blood bank, but there was no blood. He was in a dilemma. Then suddenly a thought struck my father’s mind. Then he called my Sai Naama [mother’s brother], who was of the same blood group as my mom. He rushed and came to the hospital and donated his blood. At last, the nurse came out and informed the family of the good news of my birth. Oh my god, weren’t they dying to hear this! The nurse said, ‘here’s your pinky doll”. My mom told me that when I was given to my mother I was baby pink. I was wrapped in a pink cloth and was so pinky cute. And finally, I was revealed to this world. See, I told you right, my birth was not so easy. Till the last second, there was a feeling of risk in everybody’s heart. Even though everybody was tensed and perturbed, the smile of the baby like a magic wand changed the scenario. And the best part! I was born hale and healthy with no complications whatsoever! My mother still reminds me that it is the blessings of Sai Ram, her favorite God, in whom she faithfully believes, through all thick and thin. By reading this story everyone will realize their own mother’s pain and effort not only during childbirth but also in the upbringing of the child.
Dedicated To All Mothers
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